The NRI Wife Syndrome

This term 'The NRI Wife Syndrome' was familiarized to me by my husband, Siddharth. This syndrome, as the name suggests, is predominant among the Non Resident Indians and it got a name only when Siddharth and his friends intervened. You can also call it 'H4 visa syndrome.'

When the well educated, well settled NRI gets tired of his weekend road trips, late night parties and American lifestyle, he realizes how hollow his life is. He misses his homeland, his family and most importantly his mother and her cooking. The farther he goes, the more he is haunted. The dal-chawal, bindi ki sabzi with roti, a cow on the road, antakshari during the power cuts and the roadside chatwala, all call him back. And since he cannot go back to India, he tries to bring India to him.

He gets married!

Enters his life, his wife, on H4 visa. The Indian bride fulfils his deepest desire. He now feels belonged and connected. She becomes his anchor who keeps him ashore.

But that is not all about her. The now dependent wife, who is well qualified, once led an independent life back home. She, then, dint have enough time to divide between her family and friends. But now, she is in a strange land, away from her home and family. Her H4 visa ties her around their apartment and leaves her with nothing but ample time. Her activities and movements are now restricted. She is now completely dependent upon a guy, who until a few days was a complete stranger.

The honeymoon period, initially, goes well with the new relationship, new home, new country. But the problem begins when the dust settles and life becomes a routine.

The husband goes off to work early in the morning, leaving his wife alone at home. The wife cleans and decorates the house, does the dishes and washes his clothes, cooks food for him, watches tv, goes online and waits for his return. Next day again she cleans the house, cooks, does the dishes and wash clothes, watches tv, goes online and waits for his return. And then on the third day she cleans, cooks, washes, watches tv, goes online and waits for him to return.

This goes on and she finally shows the first sign of the infamous NRI Wife Syndrome - she fights, is irritated, lonely, feels worthless, becomes depressed and nostalgic. She misses her home, friends and her job. This is when she breaks down and wishes to return to her country. Certainly, the NRI is now left nowhere. He cannot go back nor can he comfortably live outside India. He is confused, she is depressed and...

And, this is just the beginning!

P.S.: The blog post is based upon true events. However, resemblance with any individual or her life is purely co-incidental.